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Patriarchy: A justification for bad manners?






Patriarchy: A justification for bad manners? - patriachy 600x400 1 300x200 - Patriarchy: A justification for bad manners?

Sitting in the cab that sunny Sunday afternoon, I cannot remember if I was angry before boarding the cab or maybe my anger came after. I only knew I was just so irritated. I sat in the back seat of the cab with 2 other male adults.


The one who sat beside me did so in such a very indecent and annoying manner. He sat with his legs very wide apart, making me inconvenient and I had to squeeze myself on the seat all through the ride. I know I should have talked to him about how his sitting position was affecting me but my anger was eating me up so bad that if I had talked, it might have been terrible.

This got me thinking: every etiquette or good behaviour places special focus on females only (or maybe the society makes these etiquettes applicable to females alone). There are more bad manners and social errors than ever, so it is easy to be confused about what is socially acceptable.

Many of the correct behaviours people once considered common sense have gotten lost in the swirling wind of bad advice, out-dated manners or rules, and social media that now makes it very easy to slip up and be rude.


I particularly find it illogical that society overlooks many of the bad manners that the male folks do, just because they are men. It’s acceptable that a male can stop at the corner of the road to drain his pipe, but if a woman does the same, she is mocked and chastised as being indecent.


I am not saying peeing by the roadside is right, but what is wrong for a lady should also be wrong for a man so that when we say what is good for the goose is good for the gander we are not speaking with both sides of our mouths.

Many times a female does something considered socially unacceptable and is rebuked but a male does it and everyone keeps quiet. If one is bold enough to confront such an act, one would hear something like, “He’s a man, you’re a woman. Women don’t do such things. It’s still okay for a man to do it”. So ridiculous!

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They say it’s a man’s world but they should remember women are here too. If truly it is men’s world, nature would have made every one of us a man. But since the world has both women and men living in it, it belongs to no particular gender.

A man can be tolerated for chewing loudly, even in public but a woman dare not try it. She would first be fried with the glaring eyes of people, and then whispers of how uncultured she is would follow. Men are easily excused for being unable to do certain things, just because they are men.

An average man will tell you he can’t grind pepper because he’s not a woman. But after a woman has done the grinding and eventually cooks the food, the man will sit down comfortably and devour the food. They do this many times and many times, they have forgotten to appreciate the women.


‘Sit properly’. ‘Have proper hygiene.’ ‘Dress well.’ ‘Close your mouth while yawning’. These should not only be applicable to women. Nothing stops us from teaching our boys to sit well in public, especially in public transport. No one corrects a guy for dragging his feet when walking, but they shout when a woman does same. This is more like gender discrimination.

There are no special etiquettes for men or women. And no gender should be looked upon in order to feed the ego of the other. If a lady is expected to sit well, a guy too should sit appropriately. If a lady is told to walk in a graceful manner, nothing stops a guy from doing the same. If you cannot shout at a guy for picking his nose in public, then do not shout at the lady for lacking manners.

Etiquettes and good manners should be possessed by everyone, irrespective of gender. So, next time you see a male sitting in a way you think a female should not sit, correct him as you would a lady who does same. Men are as human as women are irrespective of whatever they have dangling in between their legs. They should not be excluded from certain etiquettes.

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