5 Things You Need to Know About Marriage.
Five things that would have helped Alot of marriage get off to a good start,and stay away from the edge of divorce.
When you see a couple that look so happy,act like newlyweds and probably never fight. you might not be able to relate what they went through to sustain their relationship/marriage.
As we reflect back on that time in our lives, there are some things that if we had only understood them fully, the crisis that we found ourselves in could have been avoided.
Here are five of them:
1) There is no plan B.
Know that marriage is for life and ends in death.It might sound a little dark,but it’s the truth. When a vow is taken to love someone for life,you are committed to make it work no matter what.
Alot of people make the mistake of having open options like “If being married didn’t work out, or if being with a certain person didn’t last, or if he/she dosen’t make me happy, I want to make sure I had a way out . . . or worse, another option”.Thats the mistake Alot of people make,you need to understand that in marriage there is no plan B. Plan B’s open the door and keep you from fully committing yourself to your partner in Marriage.
2) Marriage is not about your happiness.
So many couples make this mistake. And you hear it all the time.
When you walk down the aisle with your partner,you automatically believe that person is supposed to make you happy that’s what partners do.And if your partner doesn’t make you happy,then you start thinking of finding someone or something that will.
The truth is, marriage is about so much more than my happiness. And, your partner can’t carry the burden of my happiness. Happiness is subjective and relative as human, the definition of happiness changes so much that there’s no way your partner can keep up with all your demands.
Marriage is about mutual love and respect and honoring God through our faithfulness. It is not about our happiness.
3) Communication is more effective than silence.
Alot of people have introverts as partners,and talking about their feelings is very foreign and uncomfortable for them,that’s the more reason you need to understand the kind of person you’re getting married to. Introverts are default when something upsets or bothers them they would rather be quiet and alone. And there comes a point when those feelings become so suppressed that they begin looking for unhealthy ways to channel their anger, depression, sexual desires, etc., etc.At this point no one else can understand them expect a leveling partner who is able to handle their insecurities and emotions delicately.
4) Serve each other’s benefits.
We naturally try to love others how we want to be loved — and if that isn’t their love language, the efforts are somewhat meaningless.
Although service to your partner is something that should and must be done in order to have a healthy, happy marriage — you would find an interesting phenomenon when you serve your partner, it actually benefits you. Don’t get me wrong, we should serve not because of what we get in return. But, it’s pretty cool that we do get something back when we serve our spouses. (empty out the dishwasher, for example or help clean one or two places in the house)your partner would definitely want to return a favour and that’s how love grows.
5) Conflict is not a sign of dysfunction.
In any relationship.
work, family, friendship, etc. — there is going to be conflict. It is normal and OK. For some reason, many of us put marriage in a different category. We think if we’re fighting or arguing that there must be something wrong with our marriage. We immediately jump to the conclusion that our marriage is dysfunctional or damaged in some way.
And, when we think our marriage is dysfunctional, we begin thinking about plan B’s, we stop communicating, and we stop serving. But, conflict in marriage is normal. It’s how we choose to work through those times that determines how healthy or damaged our marriage is.
Once you view conflict as normal it starts to help you not hold onto offenses, help you learn to say I’m sorry much quicker, and work hard to resolve conflict as soon as it happens.
Now that you these five things about marriage,i pray you practice it as your marriage gets better than ever before.
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